Browsing All Posts filed under »Dogs«

“VITO THE GUIDO” #19

February 16, 2011

7

Vito refuses to take off his gold chains.  He says he feels naked without them.   Vito could be considered what anthropologists of our day call a “metrosexual.” Sometimes Vito doesn’t even care about the opposite sex.  He derives his self-esteem from looking good.  He often quotes Billy Crystal, “To look good is to feel good.  […]

“Vito Wants to Audition for ‘Jersey Shore'” #11

February 4, 2011

6

I would take him, but my Dad won’t let me have the car.

“A Shitty Situation” #10

February 4, 2011

9

My Dad says as I walk in the kitchen, “I’ve renamed your dog ‘The Ass Canon.’  What are you feeding him?” “I…” “–He farts like it’s going out of style.  I don’t have many years left.  I don’t want to live with them with a gas mask.” I’m thinking to myself, I get it.  Dogs […]

“Still High” #7

February 2, 2011

7

  This is what it looks like when you’re unemployed, living with your parents, and your dog gets high off your secondhand smoke.

“Vito Wants Out” #6

February 2, 2011

9

Vito has started growling at my father.  I tell my Dad it’s because he’s not giving him any attention.  But, deep down I worry that Vito (my Pit Bull) has a dark side.  That he will snap and maul my Dad because he doesn’t like him.  And that would really suck…for my father. So, I […]

“The Cookie Has Crumbled” #5

February 1, 2011

5

My father calls me in to the den.  He wants to talk to me.  “I think your dog is eating my Mallomars.” I am silent.  #1 – I’m worried that he hates Vito so much.  #2 – I’m the one who’s really eating the Mallomars.  You see, I made a list of all the things […]