Browsing All Posts filed under »Dating«

BLIND DATES GONE AWRY

February 25, 2014

2

As you may recall, my mother has always gone to great lengths and much embarrassment to score me a date. She’s stopped men in the mall, at Bed Bath & Beyond, and even married men because she couldn’t see their wedding rings with her poor vision. She’s done anything and everything to get me married, […]

“The UPS Man and His ‘Package'” #16

February 9, 2011

14

I’ve always had a thing for UPS guys.  They’re sexy and nice.  What more do you need?  So, when the doorbell rang and I ran down to open it to this cocoa-colored brother, standing 6’2” in his nicely pressed browns, how could my heart not miss a beat?  In my sling, I sign for the package […]

“About To Get Some Action” #14

February 7, 2011

18

The rendezvous was set.  Sunday night in the city I would meet The Indian – the ex who’s been texting and wanting to see me.  Of course deep down I was hoping this was our second chance; that we would resume the lovely relationship I had so missed.  But, for now, and maybe to protect […]

“Match.com” #13

February 6, 2011

16

Before “lockdown” I had subscribed to Match.com in the city, with very little action, yet quite a lot of disappointment.  My subscription is about to expire in a few days.  I hadn’t thought about it much, but there was a 29-year-old who had emailed me three times over the last few days.  This was his 4th email sent, no-lie my peoples, just […]

“4:13 AM” #12

February 5, 2011

11

So, I wake up at 4:13am.  I can’t sleep.  Not because of anxiety this time, but because Vito is taking up the whole bed and snoring louder than an old Cuban man.  I can’t help but wish I were cuddling with a man on this winter night, instead of a 75 pound tank of dog […]

“The Guy Who Dumped Me is Texting Me” #9

February 3, 2011

7

So, sometime before I got fired from my bullshit day job, I met this guy who was unlike any I had ever dated before.  He was kind, smart, almost a bit nerdy (which I thought was a good thing, since I’d always had a penchant for assholes), and very tall.  Things started slow, but before you […]

“They Ambush Me” #8

February 3, 2011

13

Now that I’m living with them, my mother has a new lease on life, a reason to wake up in the morning.  She has found her life’s purpose: to get me married. Which is funny, because I can’t say I’m much of a looker these days.  I eat about 12 Mallomars a day and haven’t […]